Rapport: The Magic Key To Influence
         by Craig Eubanks,  Act Now International LLC

When it comes to being influential with people, my friend
David Barron likes to say "Inside of rapport, anything is
possible... Outside of rapport little is possible." Though this
sounds extreme, the fact is rapport is very powerful and
essential for effective communication.

At some point we have all known what it means to have
rapport with someone. Think of a person you have a close
relationship with, now as you have this person in your mind,
think of what it is that makes you so close. Perhaps you like
the same music, you think the same way, you enjoy the same activities. This same-ness is a big part of rapport.

So what is rapport? The American Heritage dictionary
defines rapport as "Relationship, especially one of mutual
trust or emotional affinity." This is a good start, yet not
enough to make rapport work for you.

In the world of NLP, creating rapport can be thought of as
the establishment of trust, harmony and cooperation in a
relationship. Once again the word trust appears in the
definition. So you are beginning to realize that rapport leads
to trust... and perhaps you are beginning to also notice how
important rapport is to successfully being able to influence
others.

When it comes to persuasion, having great rapport with
another can lead to a situation of unconditional acceptance
of a suggestion. This is due to the trust level that comes with
rapport. If there is trust, then they will be open to accepting
what you have to say.

Think about how this works on you... if your best friend or
spouse recommends something to you, you are much more
likely to accept it, than were it to come from a complete
stranger. By developing your rapport skills, you become
that trusted person quickly, and thus what you suggest has
much more power.

The first and most important thing to know about rapport
is simple yet so often people leave this out. To be effective
with rapport you must PAY ATTENTION! This means you
must focus on the person in front of you. Notice this fellow
human you are interacting with.

Rapport enhancement can easily fill up a full day seminar,
but all the training in the world will not work for you if you
do not pay attention to the other person you are dealing
with.  This is a valuable skill for any kind of relationship,
be it business, social, or family. If you pay attention all
your relationship skills will be enhanced.

For reasons that go back thousands of years, we tend to like
and trust people who are like us, who we feel that "same-ness"
about. But the truth is we are not all the same. By studying
what those qualities were that lead people to have those
feelings, some methods to teach how to create rapport
were discovered.

Matching & Mirroring were determined to be the prime
factors to be able to create powerful states of rapport.
Matching the other person's movements, posture, vocal
qualities, key phrases, and even their breathing. Also
very powerful is to be able to match their representational
systems. This is a more advanced skill, but once mastered
people will think you have an amazing power of intuition.

To begin your practice of creating rapport, begin to match
the person you are speaking with. Simple matching of their
gestures and posture. You will want to have a little lag time
so they won't notice. If you do it at the same time, it is like
when you were a little kid and "aped" someone to annoy
them. You will see this same effect as an adult. Not your
desired outcome.

You can do this as if you were looking in a mirror, thus
they move the right hand and you move your left, or you
can do same side matching. If you are directly across from
them, use mirroring. If you are more side to side, use same
side matching. Once you have this down, then listen to the
key words and phrases they use. Remember them and use
them back in your speech.

Conclusion:
Rapport is a powerful persuasion tool and can lead you on
a fascinating journey of understanding the people around
you. There is much more to rapport than can be covered
in this article. The best way to learn is experiential.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Craig Eubanks is an Author, Trainer, and Communication Skills
Specialist and is one of the Founders of Act Now International LLC.
Sign up for Craig's FREE Success Mind™ ezine at the Act Now website.